Anna says:

Thank you mommy for all that you do for me. Thank you for playing with me, especially princesses. Thank you for letting me watch Diego and Dora and Ariel videos, and for helping me with my stretches.

Thanks for taking me to ride Doodle the horse, and to visit Susan and Lisa,  and my friends at preschool and daycare (except that one boy I don’t like). Thank you for my baby brother — he’s not so bad even though I wish he was a sister. Thank you for taking me to Old McDonald’s and making me smoothies and for making sure the Big Bad Wolf doesn’t get me. Thank you for playing raincloud and for singing songs and reading books to me. And for giving me just one more hug every night. And a kiss. And a hug.

I love you momma. You are a very good momma.

Noah says:

Smile! SMILE! Gaaaaarrrr. Aggle, flaggle klabble. Snurp. Rumpy flappy. Gaaaaaa, brrrrrrrr. SMILE! SMILE!

(Momma! I love you momma! Thank you for boobies! And snuggles. And holding me when I’m tired. And boobies! Momma! Love! Love!)

Neal says:

What she said. And he said.

Thank you for being so damned amazing, hon. Thanks for keeping this ship afloat, for keeping the kids happy, putting up with me, and somehow managing not to go crazy(er) from all the stress and lack of sleep. I really don’t know how you do it.

You are an amazing momma. And we love you so very, very, very much!

April was… filled with birthdays! Happy birthday dad! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to Roby and Colin! Anna helped make cakes and blow out candles and open presents. Yeah cake!

Noah’s growing like a weed. Huge thunder thighs on the boy (check our pics on Flickr), but otherwise he’s just pretty large-ish like his sister was. Such a happy kid, though, full of smiles and smiles and more smiles. He generally behaves himself except right around Anna’s bedtime when he gets grumpy and starts to lose his little mind.  Yeah, bedtimes are tough these days in the Enssle household!

Anna’s been doing well. She’s getting more and more used to Noah every day, and she’s even being really sweet and loving with him lately. (Though from time to time she does ask us when we’re going to get her a sister…). She’s pretty much adapted to preschool, and is doing well there, too. We just had her evaluation with the school district therapists and, contrary to our own expectations, we’re probably going to “mainstream” her and keep her at Burlington instead of Tiny Tim. The hope being that she’s enough of a social butterfly that she’ll work hard to emulate the other kids and what they’re all doing on the playground and in the classroom.

Meanwhile Tara’s been somehow managing to keep up with a sysiphean workload. She’s back to work part time, and balancing all the drama at work with Anna’s horseback riding, PT, OT, preschool, and daycare appointments.  Oh, and the whole breastfeeding thing keeps her running on about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I’d like to say I help out but it really seems like a drop in the bucket these days compared to her crazy schedule. (Thanks hon!)

Debbie joined us for a week, and it was wonderful. I think she had a great time with the grandkids, and she was an enormous help around the house. With her help we’ve finally got Noah’s room painted, curtains hung in the living room, some furniture re-arranged, and mostly caught up on laundry. Oh, and we ate well, too!

Work has been good for me. We’re busy! Very busy! Which is great in this economy, so I’m not complaining at all. Frankly, I’ve been spoiled of late, since Tara managed to let me sneak away for a couple days of camping and rock climbing with the guys from work, and then to a conference last week in Vegas. (‘Twas my first time in Vegas! Wow. It’s full of stars…). I owe her lots and lots of babysitting.

Max is annoyed at the dearth of lap real estate these days, but he’s getting by as best he can.

Well, enough said for now. Hopefully you’re all a little bit caught up. Really just the usual crazy insanity here.

Speaking of other big kids…we have a rather large baby in our house. Noah had his 2 month appointment a couple of weeks ago. The little man tipped the scales at 13 lbs (97+th percentile) and measured 23.5 inches in length (95th percentile)! What can we say…we have large children! Other than his size, he is healthy and doing well. As Neal posted recently, Noah has started smiling and talking a lot. He’s really such a happy baby. Anna’s 3 year appointment saw her measuring at 39 inches tall (95th percentile) and 33.5 lbs (75th percentile). She’s fallen off her growth curve a little in weight, but she had been sick the week prior to her appointment. We aren’t terribly concerned about it and neither is the doctor.

March was a very busy month for us. We did another round of constraint therapy with Anna down at Children’s Hospital. Anna was so cooperative with it all, and gained quite a bit of strength in her left hand/arm during this round. At about the same time, she transitioned from early intervention therapy services to therapy through the school district. She started district-based preschool the Tuesday after her birthday, and seems to like it. I guess I should say we *think* she likes it, but honestly she doesn’t like to talk too much about it, which makes Neal and me a little nervous. We’re also not sure how much “therapy” time she’s receiving and what the level of quality is. The other day I asked her if she’d seen one of her therapists that day, and Anna told me that she had and that they watched a movie. Huh? What’s the therapeutic value of a movie? Having been so incredibly hands-on during Anna’s therapy sessions in the past, not knowing what’s going on while she’s having therapy at school is more than a little frustrating for me. I’m thankful we are able to augment her district-based therapy services with private OT and PT sessions.

This week marks the end of my maternity leave. I’ve got mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I will very much miss my shadow that’s been with me 24-7 for the last 11 weeks. On the other hand, I’ve not had a moment to myself in 11 weeks, so work will be somewhat liberating. I feel less angst about leaving Noah at daycare than I did when I left Anna. Noah will be attending the same daycare as Anna, so the surroundings are familiar to us. We know the caregivers in the baby room (they took care of Anna when she was wee), and have a very good relationship with the center’s director. Still, it’s hard to leave your baby with others because no one can care for him like us. I hope his first day is not too stressful – I imagine mine will be.

We took Noah in to the doctor shortly after his 5-week milestone to make sure that his cold hadn’t turned into something more serious (namely, pneumonia). He weighed in at 11 lbs. 13 oz! Looking at him, it is hard to believe he is only 7 weeks old. He’s now wearing some 3-6 month clothing! Anyway, his cold hadn’t turned into anything more serious, but it certainly has proved to be long-lived. He still has a stuffy nose 2 weeks later!

We’re starting another round of intensive constraint therapy for Anna this week. Starting today we’ll be wearing a cast on her right arm to encourage her to use her left. I know it sounds strange to say it, but we are actually looking forward to this session, as Anna’s been more and more stubborn about using her left hand. We think she is in need of a “cognitive reset” that the casting seems to provide. Unfortunately, she’ll be casted on her birthday again this year (we were in Alabama last year at this time).

Speaking of birthdays, Anna will be 3 this month! It is so hard for me to believe that 3 years have passed since she was born. Lately we’ve been looking at lots of pictures and videos of when Anna was Noah’s age (Anna’s been curious about what she was like when she was a baby), and that has been a true walk down memory lane. With her third birthday comes the end of our early intervention home therapy services. She’ll be receiving therapy through the school district now, and starts at our neighborhood preschool two days after her birthday. We’re hoping that she fits in there and enjoys her two mornings per week.

Other than those developments, things are pretty “normal” (if you call having zero control and limited sleep “normal”). We’re learned a few things:

1. You can sleep just about anywhere, and do so on a near nightly basis.
2. You can sleep through just about anything if you are tired enough.
3. You cannot please everyone all the time, so please the one that is screaming the loudest first.
4. Bouncy seats, swings, and anything else that keep the baby quiet and sleeping are gifts from God.
5. Changing diapers doesn’t seem nearly as critical and urgent for the second child as it did for the first.

We hope to post some pictures and videos in the near future. Noah is actually smiling now, which is such a joy to see.

It’s definitely been a bit of a challenge, trying to coordinate all the demands of a new baby with the needs and wants of a very demanding almost-three-year-old.  Tara’s spent the last two days at home with both of them, and it’s been a little hard.  But she’s learning.  She says the trick is that you just have get over the fact that there will be moments when one of them (and sometimes both of them) are just going to be upset and screaming about the lack of immediate attention. Obviously, I’m completely terrified of the day when I’ll have to manage both of the little buggers all alone myself!

Work for me has been a challenge too, mainly because of the sleep deprivation. Anna’s been up in the middle of the night for at least an hour or two every night since we brought Noah home. She’s caught a new cold, and I’m taking her in to the doctor this morning to get her ears checked since an ear infection is often the culprit when she’s up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. That being said, we’re also willing to admit that it might just be a combination of a cold + the psychological impact of the new baby that’s making sleep even more of a scarce commodity that usual.

Thanks to Debbie and the folks at work, though, for helping to keep our freezer stocked with food.  Not having to worry so much about what’s for dinner is a godsend, since it’s probably going to take us awhile to figure out a new rhythm!

There are also some new photos of Mr. Noah. You can always view Noah-specific photos on Flickr in his own, personal photo set.

Everyone here is doing well enough. Tara and I are splitting shifts and so far have managed to be able to do a good job of alternating really bad nights.

Oh, and Granny Debbie and Tara painted Anna’s room pink today (I got carpet cleaning duty). We thought she’d lose her mind with joy at the “pinkalicious-ness” of it all. Instead: “Hmmm. Hmmm. I’m… I’m really hungry. Can I have a treat?”

So much for trying to make the toddler happy!?

Everyone’s doing well. Noah’s still spending the vast majority of his time sleeping (as is only right and good!). Anna is as enthusiastic about her baby brother as you could expect an almost-three-year-old to be (“he’s a real baby!”). Max greeted the newcomer with reasonable interest and has spent most of the afternoon upstairs hanging out with all of us (compare to Anna’s arrival, when he hid in the basement for about a week). And Granny’s been a superstar, handling most of the cooking and cleaning.

We’re off to bed soon.  We’ll see how our first night all together goes — here’s hoping we manage to get a little more sleep than we did at the hospital.

But it’s good to be home.

Note: I just posted the day’s photos on our Flickr site, including a pretty cool video of Anna singing a rousing rendition of “baa baa black sheep, havin’ you da wolf” for her baby brother.

I love you so much!

Thank you for your smile and for all the hugs and especially the snuggles. Thank you for reading me books and playing games, for taking me on adventures, and even for the tickles. Thank you for letting me eat yogurt and cookies and beets and green beans. Thank you for helping me wake up when I’ve had a bad dream, and for coming and sleeping in my room when I’m not feeling well.

Thank you for spending so much time with me. I love being around you so much! Thank you for teaching me to do things with my left — I know that’s important even if it makes me frustrated sometimes. Thank you for your confidence in me, and for teaching me how to be big and good.

I hope someday I can be as big and good as you.

I love you Mama.

Anna Rose

So far today, Anna’s been a bit of a mess. She’s obviously exhausted, but not really wanting to take a nap. We finally insisted on the nap, and she’s going on 3 hours! She even managed to sleep through a pretty loud thunderstorm (I felt like I was in Kansas again! You just don’t get storms like that in Colorado.). Hopefully she can sleep off the worst of this bug. If not, we’ve been googling the nearest urgent care.

When she finally wakes up, we’re off to Target to spend some big bucks. You really take for granted the fact that you have condiments, spices, and what-not in your pantry. We don’t even have any dishwashing detergent to wash up the pots we’ve used.

We had Anna’s neurology appointment on Monday, as well as her preliminary evaluation for this second round of constraint therapy.  The neurologist thought Anna looked great, and commented on the fact that if you didn’t know Anna had hemiparesis, you couldn’t really tell.  Whereas this is GREAT news, it is going to turn into the bane of our existence vis a vis receiving medical services.  Anna still has quite a ways to go in terms of her therapy, but we are reaching a point where the medical community says “oh, she’s functional, so we aren’t going to treat her anymore.”  It hasn’t happened yet, but I’m seeing that as an issue coming up.

The OT at Children’s who will be working with us during this next round of constraint therapy believes the botox injections could really help Anna gain more functioning in her left arm/hand, so we will be proceeding with the treatment.  This is not really a cut-and-dry decision for us.  Because Anna’s tightness is more in the deep tissue of her shoulder and smaller muscles in her forearm, the botox injections will be a bit tricky.  There is no way that the doctor is able to help the tightness in the deep muscle tissue, but she can do an injection in her forearm.  These smaller muscles are harder to isolate and if she is not precise in her injection, she could end up causing decreased functioning in her fingers (for grasping).  Of course, if this happens the constraint therapy is really going to be difficult to continue.  I’m of the opinion that if her fingers are affected by the botox, we will call off this round of constraint therapy completely.  The OT believes there are still gains that can be made, even if her grasping is affected…but at what cost!?  A completely frustrated little girl?  I don’t think so.

Neal is rightfully concerned that if the botox does affect her grasp that we may lose ground during the time that the medicine is blocking the signals to the brain (botox’s effects usually lasts about 3-4 months).  She is beginning to use her left so much in her daily life (unprompted, no less), it would be a shame to see her disregard it once again.  Needless to say, we are quite nervous about the procedure.  Not only are we injecting a dangerous neurotoxin into our baby-girl’s arm, we are also exposing her to the risk of decreased functioning of her left hand.  To minimize the risk of an unintended muscle being injected, the doctor will use an electronic stimulator on her needle, which will show her which muscle she is in contact with.  I’m not sure how this will work, but I’m sure we will learn soon enough.  Anyway, it is not an easy decision.  These are the times you can’t help but think about how unfair life can be.