Archive for March, 2006
Our nephew Ben Steadman passed away peacefully this morning in the arms of his mother and father, a little after 7:00am. At six years old he was one of the most sensitive, charming, and courageous people I’ve ever had the chance to know.
We’ll be spending time with our family over the next few days. We’ll post information about the memorial service as soon as we know more.
Update: A memorial service and reception for Ben will be held at First Evangelical Lutheran Church in Longmont on Tuesday, April 4th at 2:00pm in the afternoon. The viewing starts at 12:30pm. All are welcome. Please check here or on the Steadman family blog for more detailed information in the coming days.
Update: Dean posted details about the memorial service.
March 29th, 2006
Yesterday morning Dean called me to say that things looked pretty bad for Ben, and that we should consider coming over soon to say goodbye. Before we could get ourselves moving, however, my aunt Peg called to say that the nurses thought things were a little too hectic at the house and that all the congregated family were going to leave to give Ben and Dean and Melinda some peace — could they come over and hang out at our house?
We were sorry to not be able to see Ben, but happy to be able to open our doors and provide a refuge for my aunt and my cousins. We had some lunch and talked a little about our fears for Ben and his parents. But after a few hours with no news folks decided to retire to their own homes, to their own personal waiting.
Debbie had promised to make a pot roast for Dean and Melinda, and later in the evening I took the food over to their house, unannounced. They welcomed me into their darkened livingroom where Ben and some of the rest of the family were lying on the couch, everyone listening to the silence and warmth.
Ben lay quiet and motionless, asleep. I hugged Dean, and kissed Ben on the cheek with a whispered goodbye to a boy who’s taught us so much about courage in the short time he’s been with us.
We will miss you Ben.
March 29th, 2006
I just heard from my cousin Dean about twenty minutes ago. For the past few days our nephew Ben’s been extremely tired, has had terrible, unrelenting headaches, and hasn’t been able to keep food down. The went to the hospital yesterday and have learned that Ben’s tumor has grown by more than 50% in the last three weeks. The doctors have told them to start planning in terms of days, not weeks.
Ben’s home again now, and Hospice will be starting to make regular visits to ensure that Ben’s in as little pain as possible.
Here’s an excerpt from Dean in the Steadman’s blog:
We’re preparing Ben and Madie with the information that they need to face the events to come. I have no idea exactly what that means, but I know in my heart that Ben will be free from his cancer and pain. I have faith in an existence beyond our understanding and find comfort with Ben knowing more about it than I do. I am blessed to have had this time to learn from him.
I still don’t understand how this could happen to such a wonderful family. Ben, Madie, Dean, and Melinda — you are all in our prayers.
March 27th, 2006
My mom and dad came down to visit us yesterday to celebrate my dad’s 67th birthday! Debbie baked an outstanding Boston creme pie (or is it cake?), and we all helped make one of my dad’s favorite meals: schnitzel, potato salad, red cabbage, and asparagus. There are some good photos that I just posted to a new birthday photo album.
March 25th, 2006
We’ve received so many gifts of flowers from family and friends over the past few days that our home seems like a veritable greenhouse. Thanks to everyone for the beatiful flowers and your kind thoughts and words. They really do lift our spirits!
March 23rd, 2006
The local newspaper and a Denver television station have both done great stories on our nephew Ben. Visit the Steadman’s site for links to the newspaper story and the television coverage of Ben’s “unbirthday” party at Chuck E. Cheese’s.
March 23rd, 2006
Little Anna is one week old today! She had her first doctor’s visit since leaving the hospital, and she’s been given a clean bill of health. She’s gaining weight (she’s up to a whopping 7 lbs. 10 oz. after having dropped to 7 lbs. 7 oz. upon her departure from the hospital), and the jaundice has been declared a non-issue. So she’s a healthy kid!
Tara got a checkup too, and the doctor agrees that the headache is most likely related to her anemia. More iron, more water, and more rest should do the trick over the next few days.
March 22nd, 2006
I’ve posted a few more photos of wee Anna. Check out the photos page where she’s got her very own album.
And everyone’s doing well. Anna’s been sleeping and eating well, and her jaundice seems to be clearing up nicely. She’ll go for her first doctor’s visit tomorrow, so watch for an update sometime thereafter.
Tara’s doing better too. Her headache is almost gone and so she’s feeling better about life in general. It’s hard when bending over to pick up your baby makes you woozy, but I think she’s over the worst of it.
March 21st, 2006
Actually, it’s not that bad, really. It’s just a little tough getting used to sleeping in 2 to 3 hour blocks, in between feedings (Mom’s job) and diaper changes (Dad’s job).
Anna’s doing very well. She started off with a little jaundice, but it looks like that’s starting to clear up all on its own. Her head was also very sore initially from the whole birthing ordeal, but that’s looking better with every passing hour. She’s nursing well, sleeping lots, and pooping with adequate frequency. (Sorry, but I guess it’s things like that that you start obsessing about when you’re a dad). Overall, she seems like a fairly content little kid so far — though naturally we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop!
Tara’s doing well also. We spent Saturday night back in the hospital emergency room because by that point Tara had had a splitting headache for more than 48 hours straight. We left with no clear diagnosis beyond probable dehydration and anemia, so she’s been slamming the iron supplements and drinking gallons of water. Right now she’s avoiding the Percocet they gave us, for obvious reasons. Things seem to be getting better, but even so the pain hasn’t cleared up entirely, so we’ll be paying close attention.
Max seems a little nervous, and maybe even a little depressed, but he’s generally handling the invasion well. Meanwhile, Grandma Debbie’s been doing a bang-up job of helping us through all this — cooking, cleaning, and offering some great advice and perspective on the situation.
More photos to come soon!
March 20th, 2006
I just posted a few photos of Anna that we took at the hospital. We just got home about an hour or so ago, so there will be more to come.
Anna and Tara are both healthy and doing very well.
We love you our chubby little chipmunk!
March 17th, 2006
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